A slice of humble pie in Jamaica

 

Yesterday I jumped on a plane to head to Jamaica to meet up with an Ambassador (high school) trip that’s been down here for a couple weeks. I woke up to my 3am alarm and stumbled around making coffee as well as making sure my passport was in my bag (both equally important things).The day passed uneventfully and I made it to Wycliff Caribbean’s office in Kingston, Jamaica.

You know those times when you’re so bone tired that making sure your eye’s aren’t crossing as you’re talking to someone becomes a challenge? Well, that is where I found myself. Three hours of meetings and conversations conducted in voices slightly louder than a whisper later, my head was spinning and all I wanted was a chance to close my eyes. My lazy eye was fighting to do it’s own thing, my brain hurt from listening, and I was sweating profusely. I had just heard an hour or so of testimonies of the incredible things the Lord has done here in Jamaica and they all had one thing in common.

 

They all came from seemingly bad/hard/uncomfortable circumstances.

 

After what seems like an eternity, it comes time for us to leave and as we’re walking down the stairs I tell/ask the Lord, “I don’t know if I can do this, is this all worth it?” Can I say yes to a lifetime of bad/hard/uncomfortable circumstances?

 

Now hear me, you can do the Christian life, you can love Jesus, go to church and all things and never really take any risk, never really put your faith on the line and you’ll still go to heaven. However that’s not enough for me. It’s not enough to just do this life, enjoy it why it’s here, and then one day get to heaven. No, if I’m going to do this thing, I want to see heaven here on earth, I want to see the promises of the bible come true, I want to live a life that God gets to step into and proclaim that he is God because it’s impossible in the realm of humanness.

 

This is the humble moment for me. I’m asking the Lord this big question because I’m simply physically uncomfortable. I can hear the accusations in my head, “Buck up! Grin and bear it! Don’t be weak, etc.” And sometimes that’s the exact action that the Lord is asking. But hear this, he’s asking you from a place of knowing his character more than trusting the circumstances you’re in.

 

As we’re walking down the stairs to my host’s car we start chatting about life, Jamaica, and I start asking about her family. I hear about her kids, what they’re doing, who they’re becoming. And then I asked about her husband. She starts telling me how they met, the crazy things that they’ve done together, the jobs they’ve held… up until about a year ago when everything changed. Her posture softens, her voice gets a little softer and she starts to explain how in a short time her whole world changed when he passed away. We started talking about what processing grief looked (and looks) like for her. She told me how putting the car registration sticker on the windshield took over two months to get the courage to do, how small things have become triggers for grief. At one point she pauses and softly says, “I had to take some time after he passed to really come before Jesus with all the questions, because I had a lot of them”.

 

When she asked God if he was worth it, it took her three months. This time for me, it took all of 5 minutes. No matter how long it takes, I know without a doubt that God is worth it. I know that he’s faithful, and I know that he has a plan that’s wilder than any adventure you could dream up. But I also  know that there’s a high cost associated with it. Jesus never promises that saying yes to this adventurous life will be easy.

 

Today I challenge you to sit down with the Lord and start asking him that question, “Is it worth it?” What is that thing in your life that you always reference back to? I can’t tell you what it is, it may be the death of someone close to you, or it maybe be a tired and cranky moment of sleep deprivation. Look at your life. Look at who God is to you.  And I promise you he will be faithful.

 

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